Today

Everyday seems to get more difficult, everyday i feel a piece of me dying, a new problem that is causing riddles in my mind. I don't have no one to talk to to, because i don't want to talk to anyone. Only person that i expect to listen to me and understand doesn't, so I'm confined to this small space, slowly reseeding into my mind, becoming a shadow of what i once was. Sitting back letting my addictions feed my soul which causes further deterioration. Problems piling upon one and other, stacks of them, like a plague of newspapers and yellow pages. I cant get out, so many obstacles in my way, so much pain everytime i try to suceed. Is this what my life was meant to be? Less than an existence, living like a hermit at the bottom of a old fisherman's boat, only given attention when I'm scraped off the side, I'm not contributing I'm just a bottom feeder, i don't deserve the happiness i want. And yet i sit here sad and depressed. Maybe its me who needs to accept my fate and move away from all those i care about and die like a dog would. There is no point to my life, i am nothing special, a smudge in the tapestry of life a mistake that was never meant to be born, maybe its easier to believe these truths, then i wont need to try to get myself out my predicament, the lazy way out.